I haven't posted here in a while...I'm back from school (been back about a month now) and I knew I'd miss it, but I had no idea I'd miss this much.

I mean, I love all of my friends from my hometown, but since going to school most of them have definitely changed a great deal. All they seem to talk about is partying and while I do party a bit myself, I don't do it nearly to the extent that they do. And I don't need it-- hell, I don't even like it. My idea of a party is heading over to the Special Interest Housing dorm (read: music and art majors only) and listening to people jam, and have some beer or $10 wine. On the other hand, most of my other friends hit up the frats, or clubs, and all they talk about are stories of stupid intoxicated things they have done. It's funny hearing a story like that every now and then, but every waking moment of the day is a little much... I just miss my friends down at school; we actually had conversations, not regurgitations of drunken shenanigans.

Ah well. Change happens... I just miss the way things used to be, but doesn't almost everyone?

I've also gotten myself into a mildly sticky situation involving several old flames from home, and one from college... there isn't much I can do to help myself handle said situations, except see a  therapist at this point... I can't wait to get to school so I can go to one for free!

In other news, I desperately need a job; I'm pretty much flat out broke right now and no where seems to want to hire me. Tomorrow I am going to visit Hofstra Law School with my dad for some alumni thing, and I figure it wouldn't hurt to check it out. It's only a Tier 3 school these days, but since I'll be paying for law school on my own, I figure my dad being an alumni, the low ranking, and hopefully amazing GPA/LSAT scores will help out, y'know? I've got about 2 1/2 years to boost my GPA from a 3.318 (not bad for a freshman!) to at least a 3.8... My goal is to be able to go to BU Law school-- I want to live in Boston so badly...

Okay, I have to get up in about 6 1/2 hours, so I ought to hit the hay. Thanks to anyone for reading my ramblings long enough to reach these thanks! :)

Blessed be.

Hey all.

I had a really rough weekend consisting mainly of a lot of emotional stress related to a difficult relationship... I don't want to get into the specifics, but I pretty much had a breakdown Saturday night. Last night, I had to study for a final that was this morning, but my friends were worried about me and I spent a lot of time talking the situation over with them which was something I really needed to do. But as a result, I needed to stay up all night the study and make sure I didn't over sleep for the exam... but then I woke up this morning twenty minutes after the exam ended!!! I don't even remember falling asleep.

I have no idea if I'll be able to make it up, I already e-mailed my professor and explained that I have been so stressed emotionally and hopefully she'll let me take a make up.

Aah, I just got a reply from my email saying I could... thank the Lord and Lady, I needed that final so badly...

But final-disasters aside, I've been having a pretty difficult time lately and I was hoping maybe someone would have a good, simple spell to help reduce emotional stress or something like that. I have no candlss or incense here because it's a dorm and they're not allowed, but if anyone has any suggestions please share! Thanks.

Yesterday, a loan gunman massacred 32 people, and then killed himself at Virginia Tech University. I will never be able to understand what could possibly drive a person to do something so heinous.
So what if you father never hugged you as a child? Or if your mother beat you when you because she was drunk every night? So what if you were picked last in gym class, people teased you because you were overweight, you failed out of college, you can never seem to pay your bills on time, you think think the government is a sham?
The lives of people are more important than any childhood trauma or grievances you have.
If you loathe your own life, go to therapy. Deal with it. For God's sake, I'd rather one unhappy person kill themselves than murder innocents. At least then the person dying has a say in the matter, they know the reason they're dying. If they leave a note, even their family will know the reason.
Now, 32 people are dead. No one knows why; not the dead, not their families, not their friends, no one. And it's more than likely no one will ever find out why.
The scariest thing is that this has happened before, happens all the time and will happen again. And it has been, is, and will be able to happen anywhere. It easily could have happened here, at Rutgers. Or at my younger sister, Kelly's, high school , or my older sister, Lauryn's, school, or NYU, or BU; for God's sake, my cousin goes to Virginia Tech! Fortunately, he is alright... but he very easily may not have been.
This sort of thing can happen someplace else where people I know and love are... and, Lord and Lady forbid, if someone I know is killed like that, I may never know why.

Talking about this makes me feel sick.
I had tea with my friend Minh last night.
We talked about how everything is going wrong.
The weather, VA Tech, government, school... I tried to cheer him up, reminding him that there is still always good with the bad. There is always light in the dark, some Yang in the Yin... but I can't find it right now. I just can't. I know it's there, I'll find it sometime... but right now, I can't.
And I really need to.

Today was Friday the 13th, and I admit I went through more than half the day without realizing it was supposed to be a bad day. In fact, today had pretty much the opposite effect that the 13th tends to have; admittedly, my Friday the 13th's don't tend to be too horrible, but today was wonderful!

I'd spent the night at a friend's, and spent the rest of the day getting coffee with another friend, going to class, and cutting my hair while researching chakras and auras. My friend Tatyana's birthday is tomorrow and we might get a head start celebrating it tonight. I've been cheerful all day and nothing has gone wrong yet... knock on wood! *does so* It's just... this was probably the best day I've had for awhile now, and that happens so rarely! I'm pretty much using this post to remark on the irony of having a great day on this day, of all days.
To anyone who had a terrible day, don't worry... it will balance out and you'll likely have a gloriously positive day soon. Likewise, expect a blog from me within the next week bitching about what a terrible day I had, hee hee...

Off to loaf and play videogames now instead of work on my brief for Law & Politics! It's not due till Tuesday... I'll it sometime. Soon. Maybe.
*lazy*

 

Blessed be. <3

 

 

P.S.
I live in New Jersey, nearby New York City. Does anyone know a good store in the area to go and buy herbs and other such supplies? Thanks is n advance for any help! :)

<3 

I figured I might as well post a blog. I just made an account here and don't know anyone and am awkward at meeting people (even through the internet, heh) so... yeah. Seems like a good idea.

I've always been interested in magick and divination, and for about seven years now I have considered myself to be Wiccan, eclectic rather than a specific branch of practice. I've never been incredibly religious, keeping my rituals and prayers to myself but never hiding the fact that I am a witch to my friends (though I admit I've never quite come out of the broom closet to my family; I don't lie to them about my religion and they know I've been interested in Wicca since a young age, but they don't ask and I don't tell them). Lately, though, I've wanted to reach out and meet more people with similar thoughts, beliefs, and practices as me. It's gotten a bit lonely, you know?

I'm not comfortable going to my college's Pagan club, but maybe one day. In the meantime I'm looking forward to meeting other practitioners in this community and I hope to make some friends.
As a little background information, I live in New Jersey and am attending Rutgers University. My ultimate goal is to attend law school in either New York or Boston, MA; my two favorite cities in the world. I don't know what my major is; possibly psychology (I'm a huge psych nerd) or art history. I love reading, writing, tea, hats, stand up comedy, playing violin, listening to good music, coffee, and taking trillions of pictures of my friends at awkward times.

Okay. Enough rambling.
I just wanted to put myself out there and all that good stuff...